Think! Think! Think!

I never practiced writing a diary. this is my first attempt of such kind. I started this out of realization that I’m losing many days or in fact millions of seconds from my memory. Probably I am materializing my memories. Because of my engineering background I may sound technical or sometimes statistical, nevertheless I would like to carry the importance of literature I’ve been learning. In this case I’ll be playing a safe game as my literature is not flawless.

Few years ago, I never felt the necessity or imagined to maintain a record of moments I spend. In fact my world was small, not many desires, never seen a failure, in an academic world, also the life I’ve lived is short. It was possible for me to remember most them. As I gain numbers, things are changing. Desire to establish identity, longing for love, seeing the tint of failure, increasing field, I find more and more to explore.

I write this for more reasons. I committed umpteen sins in my short life. I realize ! I repent! I warn myself not to commit it again. But I am afraid! I do not know how strong is my heart! Also, how long can I hold a promise? Daily I encounter a world where things go against my principles. In the beginning I kept my self away from glancing them. Afraid! Today, I can comfortably stare them. Of course, I don’t appreciate their deeds even today. In the course of life things are becoming more and more obvious. I may be a victim of irregularity. This shouldn’t sound philosophical rather I must say it is psychology, My Psychology.

At the age of 30 I shall see my self as a better person. This daily record is an exercise which should work for me. Previous day lessons are going to be today’s cleanser.

At last my aim is to understand better. I need a better definition of life, track the emotions, develop proper culture, live a social life, .. .. .. and give my best !

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